Saturday, September 18

Things The Pope Doesn't Want To Hear

Pregnancy definitely changes your marriage.  Like a rollercoaster, there are ups and downs.  Take our situation for instance.  We had a little scare at about 7 weeks.  We went to the OB not only to find out it was a viable pregnancy but that we were pregnant with two babies.  Feeling completely thankful and blessed, we started planning.  The next few months felt like falling in love all over again.  The Pope and I had created two beings.  Cra-zy!  This feeling of oneness brought us closer together.
As I got bigger, pimplier, and more hormonal things changed again.  And the transition from working full time to permanent maternity leave was difficult.  I was staying home but unable to do most of the necessary housework.  Steph the Pregzilla assumed The Pope resented her for not getting things done when actually it was just my own guilt making me feel that way.  We sort of got a new routine figured out and things got better.
Then later in pregnancy everything becomes very real.  We started talking about things we had never talked about before.  I was actually even showing The Pope pictures of women's breasts in books and sharing way too much information.  Here are some actual conversations heard in our house.

*Some subjects may be too much for male readers.  Reader discretion advised.*
"Hey baby, I need you to come here and shave this for me."
"You probably don't want to know about the big poop I just took, huh?"
"This says later in the pregnancy women have a hard time reaching to wipe their butt."
"They say you can have sex six weeks after delivery but most women think six months.  (I laughed)"
"Women on the forum refer to the state of their vagina after delivery as hamburger crotch."
"Would you please rub this on the pimples on my back?  I can't reach."

In addition to not being able to breath, super oily hair, acne, heartburn, and the occasional nosebleed, I am now snoring and drooling in my sleep.


  1. Yesterday the girls I nanny for wanted to watch shows on TLC about babies being born. Now I'm reading this. Seriously, I didn't want to get pregnant before, but now I definitely don't. Congrats to you, but I'm glad I won't be squeezing two people out of my vajayjay anytime soon (or hopefully ever). (And if you're doing a C-section, you have my pity too--you're actually awake when they hack you open...what's with THAT?). I really am happy for you. See my smile--:-D!!

  2. As always, thanks for the comments. Ms Campbell, please pray for vaginal, natural births for both of our sweet babies. The idea of a needle in my spine or serious abdominal surgery has always freaked me out, too. God has given me the strength to carry these babies thus far and I know He'll help me through to the delivery.

  3. He will! I'm really proud of you and all the other amazing women I know who have carried children. It's just not something I want to experience. I just have to say it one more time though, you're like the cutest pregnant lady ever!!